How to plan a surprise proposal and actually keep it a secret
Planning a surprise proposal can be stressful. Its hard to keep such a big secret from your partner and sometimes your partner is really good at noticing changes in your behavior. In a world where very little is a real surprise you may need help to pull off a genuine surprise.
In many cultures it is common practice to ask your partners Father ( or Parents ) for their permission to ask their daughter to marry them. This means the parents will know the proposal is coming and there’s always a chance they will leak that information to others. Its also common practice in this day and age to ring shop as a couple and have a serious conversation about the plan for marriage before the proposal takes place to make sure you are both on the same path. When both of these practices are taking place, it means proposals aren’t 100% a surprise. What remains a secret is when, how and where it will take place and that part of the engagement can be fun to plan to be a surprise.
As a professional proposal photographer in Chicago I’ve seen hundreds of scenarios. I know what stories makes sense, I know what logistics work. In this blog I’m going to share ways to keep the proposal a surprise by creating a clever plan.
- Create a believable storyline to get your partner to the place in which you want to propose.
- Create a fake event to “attend”. If you think your partner will ask too many questions or catch on to your abnormal behaviors when planning the time and date, ask a trustworthy family or friend to participate in the fake plan. For example you can create an event ( like a birthday party for grandma ) that is not really taking place that includes the “attendance” of a brother or sister so they can also pretend to be attending and maybe ask your partner what they are going to wear. This builds an event that shows others are also going and is more realistic.
- Pick a location that is somewhere you would go as a couple on a date. If you pick a location you have never been to and have no reason to go to, its going to raise red flags and possibly give away the surprise. For example, don’t choose a beach location if your partner doesn’t like to go to the beach. Also don’t pick a beach location if your partner is going to be in formal attire. That doesn’t make sense.
- Choose a storyline that supports the dress-code. If you want to have influence over what kind of outfit your partner will wear you will need an end game event or dinner reservation storyline somewhere that makes sense to wear your desired attire. If you want them to be in formal wear, you need to give them a reason to wear those clothes and a reason they can’t bail on. Again the plan or reservation doesn’t have to be real, they just have to believe it enough for you to get them there. Once they are proposed to, they won’t mind if they aren’t really going to a fancy restaurant. Don’t forget to pick a restaurant that is near the place you want to propose so you can do it on your way to “dinner” or an “event”
- Propose before “dinner” not after.
- Hiding the ring. If you think your partner will find the ring, have it stored at a friend or family members house.
- Get the slim ring box. There are slim cases available online to keep the ring at a low profile to store in your pocket so its less of an obvious square in your pocket. The store ring boxes are usually too big to hide.
- Nails or Manicure. There is no failproof way to get your partner to get their nails done without raising a red flag especially if they don’t normally get their nails done. However, get some help from one of your partner’s friends and ask them to invite your partner to manicure day. This is the only semi-sneaky way to ensure they have their nails done. I definitely don’t advise personally suggesting to them to get a manicure.
- Brainstorm with a friend. If you are worried about your storyline, run it by a friend and brainstorm with them. Better yet ask someone who is already engaged and has been through a proposal themselves.
For tips on planning a surprise proposal in Chicago click here.
For help finding the perfect location for your Chicago surprise proposal click here.
For reasons to hire a professional proposal photographer click here.
To see a list of Chicago skyline locations click here.
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